The Grumpy Expat

A French restaurant, under the name Phil & Moi A Moi, is tucked away in Soi Toyota Thiyen in Korat (Nakhon Ratchasima), a turning just off Mittraphap Road before the Toyota showroom.

Phil is a very relaxed and friendly chap from France and his nationality is reflected in the interesting, reasonably priced menu. There's a shaded outdoor area at the front and a pleasant room inside. The bar has a reasonable choice of drinks and an espresso machine. Beer prices are, sensibly, pitched at restaurant rather than bar levels.

The restaurant is open from 9.00am until 11.00pm every day except Thursdays. The 'phone number is 08 22 21 85 24.

I recommend a visit. Look out for this sign on the left a short distance from Mittraphap Road:

The Tokay Gecko is common in Thailand and, indeed, most of south East Asia. It will grow to more than 12 inches long and believe me, on your house wall at close quarters, that looks big. They live mainly a solitary life and keep their distance from humans. On the other hand, if you interfere them they will defend themselves and one look at their teeth is enough to show that's not a good idea.

Tokay Gecko's have a distinctive call which can be heard mainly during the hours of darkness. Despite their preference for hunting at night, they will hang around at the edge of the light cast by outside lamps waiting for smaller lizards and flies.

Some people fear them and some will try to get rid of them. Occasionally, local people will hunt them on the promise of big money from China where they are used in medicines. We have been asked for permission to catch them around our house but we always refuse. I like to see them on our walls. They are fascinating to look at and keep down the populations of other creatures. One got into the house a few weeks ago and cleared it of those pesky lizards in no time.

Below is an image of one that lives under the roof tiles of our verandah.


This next one lives under the roof tiles of our car port.


It catches black scorpions, takes them high up the wall and holds them until they give up trying to sting. Then the scorpion is dragged into its dining room under the tiles and unwanted pieces are later thrown out.

Traditional silk winding devices are still in use in the villages of Isaan. Pictured below is one of several types used in and around the famous silk town of Pak Thong Chai, Nakhon Ratchasima. The yarn is supplied to the weaving businesses in hanks tied with string. Within the hanks, the individual lengths of yarn are short, just as they were produced by the silk worms. They must be wound and twisted into lengths that can be used for weaving. The process from hank to loom may involve several types of device that enables the winder to produce yarn many metres in length and on the various types of spool that can be used on the loom. Most of the devices are operated by hand, in some cases with the help of a small sewing machine motor. Even though modern machines that can wind a hundred spools at a time have appeared in some villages, the vast majority of family businesses still use the traditional methods.

Buddhist monks are a familiar site in Thailand. They are treated with great respect by local people but foreigners, aware of the failings of religious organisations around the world, are usually more sceptical.

Recently, I came to have a better understanding of the practice whereby sons become monks for just a few weeks. Families throw the most lavish party they can afford as I have described here. I still don't understand why dancing girls and alcohol are appropriate at these events but I do have now an insight into why the young men join the monk-hood for a while.

We were recently invited to one of these parties and my wife explained by telling me about the young man and his family. The father left home and abandoned the family when the boy was very young, a very familiar story here. The mother and boy are related to my wife and various members of the family lived close together in their own private road. Mother had to find work and my wife and others would take care of the toddler, playing with him in the safe confines of the family compound. He loved to play in water, my wife recalled.

When he was old enough, he was allowed to go fishing with the men of the family and his interest in water and fish developed. At school, he was a star pupil. His mother remarried and his new stepfather cared for him as his own. He and mother, not wealthy by any measure, managed to pay for the boy to go to university, where he was again a star. His focus was on fishery management and the tutors paid for him to lodge beside a lake where he could indulge his passion for fish in his own time as well as during study time.

The young man was awarded a Master's Degree. Sadly, his step-father died just before his son's success was confirmed. He has a job waiting for him at CP Foods, a great start to a career.

The young man decided to take the traditional time as a monk. I now know that this practice is seen as something that son's do for their mothers. The blog Thailand Life explains this better than I can and I recommend it to you.

I find the story of this young man's life quite touching. Many youths in Thailand leave school only to sit around, living off their parents, with no intention of doing anything useful with their lives. This young man had a difficult early life, even though he was loved and cared for by his mother and wider family. I might guess that the attention he received, first from younger relatives and then from older male relatives, produced benefits and awakened his interest in things aquatic.

Good luck to him and all like him who make the effort to achieve worthwhile goals in life.

Any foreigner who spends time in an Isaan village will eventually be invited to a party. The locals use almost any excuse to party, the most common being weddings, funerals, New Year, house blessings, son joining the army and son-becoming-a-monk-for-a-few-days. They all follow the same pattern except funeral parties at which the music is more sombre and the dancing girls are absent.

Most occasions require the presence of monks for chanting, eating and ritual. The party itself takes place either the evening before or after the monks have done their bit.

Invitations are handed out in envelopes bearing the invitees' names and returned to the host with gifts of cash sealed inside. The amount and name of the donor is recorded in a book as a reminder as to how much to give when a donor holds a party.

Food is essential, of course. Typical Isaan village food doesn't appeal to me so I eat before I go and nibble dutifully at anything that's looks acceptable. The locals will eat their fill. The best food is known as 'Chinese Table' - much more appealing to me and offered at parties where the host wants to show that his or her wealth is a bit above the average.

Another essential is alcohol. Many Thai women don't indulge and I'm often wary of those who do. The men make up for what the women don't drink. Usually, the offering is beer and the rice spirit know as Lao Khao or 40 Degree. The latter is very potent and, judging by the appearance of its most ardent fans, not good for the health. Whisky was also common on party tables a few years ago but less so these days.

Funeral parties apart, no event is complete without a stage full of singers and young girl dancers. When I first saw one of these non-stop spectacles I was enthralled. Eventually, though, they begin to look a little sad. The girls begin their show wearing full costume and performing slow, sedate gyrations. By the half way point, they are down to small tops and short skirts and doing energetic hip thrusts. Several of the girls on stage will barely know the routines and look disinterested. To earn a few Baht, they are supposed to tease the drunken young men who display their own dancing skills in front of the stage and the older drunks who lear at them from their tables. If you are lucky, you will get a comedian thrown in but, unless you speak Thai or Isaan, you won't know what everyone is laughing at.

At some point, the MC or comedian will spot you and call 'Farang' over the microphone. He wants you on stage to make a fool of yourself singing or dancing. Sit near the back and don't get up!

Many families fill themselves with food and leave as soon as the plates are empty. We try to be more polite than that but, eventually, boredom and alcohol reach their limit and we have chatted with all of our family and friends present and we leave with the usual thank you's and wais. As we leave, we make a point of sharing a joke or two with the local police who seem to be paid to sit with the guests. In a small community you should make an effort to get to know those officers in your family and others who will see you out and about. You never know when you might want their help.

By all means experience these parties from time to time. In fact, it's expected that at least your Thai partner will attend. I avoid all of the early morning sessions (parties can restart at 5.00am with recorded music) because the local men delight in trying to ply farang with Lao Khao.

Today, 16 March 2012, is the 44th anniversary of the murder of 504 (347 according to the US Army) Vietnamese men women, children and babies by the 1st Battaliion, 20th Infantry Regiment, 11th Brigade of the American Division in My Lai and My Khe. Those soldiers, in someone else's country, murdered, mutilated, tortured and raped defenseless civilians and burned their villages.

26 soldiers were initially charged but only one was convicted. Thanks to President Nixon, he got away with three and a half years' and house arrest. Three brave US servicemen who tried to stop the massacre and protect the wounded villagers were denounced by US Congressmen, received hate mail and death threats and found mutilated animals on their doorsteps.

There's more information about this atrocity on Wikipedia.

Recently, a US soldier murdered men, women and children in Afghanistan and has been swiftly removed from the country where he may have appeared in a civilian Court to face justice.

Perhaps some have still not learned from this event but we can at least make sure that we don't forget the innocent people who were abused and murdered.

Foreigners in Thailand frequently ask friends about the law or for a recommendation as to which lawyer to use in a particular instance. It's not difficult to find a law office, but one can't be sure in advance of an enquiry which of them is expert in any particular branch of law or whether one will even be able to communicate effectively because of language differences. Added to that is the shortage of law firm websites that might help in the search.

In fact, it's not as difficult as it may seem. There are many law firms that specialise in working for foreigners. They tend to be located in areas where most foreigners live, such as Pattaya or Bangkok, and usually do have a website. It might seem more convenient to use a local lawyer but only if he suits one's particular needs. My experience and that of a few of my friends is that a law firm used to working for foreigners will travel to visit clients when necessary and have a better understanding of our expectations. Most communication can be carried out by 'phone, email and post once the client's need is established.

If you need a lawyer or want to identify one that might be of use in the future, this is what I suggest:

1. Research some of the law yourself. There are authoritative websites that can help and I have added links below. Also search the community forum websites but remember that someone's opinion is based on his own experience and needs. Find something more objective and authoritative.

2. Look for websites of law firms in the main urban areas as well as your own. Contact a few, describing your needs and ask what they might be able to do for you.

3. Before appointing a lawyer, check that he or she is properly qualified and accredited. Fluency in your own language and assurances of success are no substitute for legitimacy. Also, no good lawyer that I have spoken to quoted cheap fees as a selling point for his professional services.

4. Accept that Thai law can be very different from what you have been used to and so can the way in which legal matters progress.

Here are some links that might help you learn more about Thai law and lawyers.

Lawyer qualification and accreditation

Law database (unofficial translations)

Law guides and articles

Civil & Commercial Code (unofficial translation)

Explore those websites to gain your own knowledge and better enable yourself to discuss your issues with your lawyer.

Until 31 March, buy one large pizza (30cm) and get free a can of either Leo, Chang or Archa.

These are the large pizza prices, all cooked in a wood fired oven:

Marghareta - THB170
Hawaiian     - THB200
Salmon       - THB260
Bacon         - THB200
Mushroom   - THB200
Vegetable    - THB200
Salami         - THB220
Seafood      - THB250

Optional extra toppings or invent your own mix.

18cm pizzas are also available.

Top Cafe is also renowned for its very extensive and reasonably priced Thai food menu.

Here, too, are some examples from the Western food menu:

Fish, fries and peas                                   - THB130
Pork chop, fries or mash, peas and gravy - THB160
Pork steak, gravy and salad                      - THB89
Beef steak, gravy and salad                      - THB99
Burger and fries                                         - THB110 with onions and cheese extra
Beef or pork spaghetti bolognaise             - THB99

Unbeatable!

It's advisable to book ahead for tables after 6.00pm

Thai restaurants have become very popular in England. Whilst most that I have eaten in offer good food, not many offer truly authentic cuisine.

The first Thai food that I ever tasted was in a pub called the Wrestlers in Cambridge. The manager is married to a Thai and his wife did the cooking. Subsequent trips to Thailand proved that she was cooking authentic dishes. Take a look at their website.

Once Thai food became popular, new Thai restaurants tended to Westernise their menus. The biggest joke of a Thai restaurant that I ever visited was in Letchworth, Indian owned and with no pork on the menu! I don't see that place advertised now so don't confuse it with Jimmy's Thai Garden in Gernon Road, Letchworth which, I'm told, is good.

My wife, an expert Thai chef with her own restaurant, recommends two Thai restaurants in England that we recently visited whilst over there. One is Sang Thai in Dorking High Street, run by ten Thais and with no drippy English waitresses. The food was excellent, the service good, staff friendly and they kindly fitted us in without a reservation on a Saturday evening when all of the tables were booked for later. See some other reviews. The eat-as-much-as-you-can Chinese restaurant next door is worth a Sunday lunch time visit too.

The other place is a lunch time Thai cafe in London. It's open for office workers from Monday to Friday but we were lucky to catch the owner there on a Sunday afternoon doing his veg. prep. for Monday. The menu is limited but authentic - and very cheap. Thai House is at 36 Strutton Ground, a road off Victoria Street between Parliament Square and Victoria Station. Don't confuse it with the expensive London restaurants of the same name.

Eva Air has been popular with travellers between Bangkok Suvarnabhumi and London Heathrow for several years now. Their low fares and new planes attracted business away from the likes of Thai Airways with its aging fleet and increasing fares. My only complaint was the uncomfortable seats that have me bracing my feet on the seat legs in front of me and easing my behind off the cushion to relieve the aching that came not long after take off.

I flew Eva Air last month and was disappointed. The fare was cheap after discarding offers from airlines that I won't even consider. Something has changed and I think that it can be summed up as lack of customer care on board. These are the things that I noticed:

1. Never a word from the Captain on the outward journey to his passengers until I commented on that to the Cabin Director. I was told that it wasn't deemed necessary because I could find flight information on my personal interactive screen. On the return journey we heard nothing at all from him.

2. Most passengers know that a meal is served about two hours before landing and more than a few like to freshen up in the toilets before it arrives. I waited outside one for about fifteen minutes and then walked up the plane to wait outside another. Watching the first one, I saw a stewardess emerge, freshened up and in a change of uniform. Then another came out of the second toilet. I was third in the queue and returned to the first, only to be beaten to it by yet another stewardess. It was thirty minutes before I got into a toilet. Them first and passengers last!

3. The cabin crew were generally inattentive and unfriendly. They forgot drinks orders, poured tea when coffee was requested. Don't have the tea, it's awful. They asked which meal I wanted and served the alternative. There was no second run of the drinks trolley - just an offer of more tea and coffee. And boy you had to be quick to respond otherwise the pots were way up the aisle.

4. The planes are already showing their age or lack of care in that minor faults are not corrected in the cabin. On the return flight, my reading light was blinding the lady across the aisle and I had to lean out of my seat to catch the beam on my book.

5. On both flights there was rubbish still stuffed in my seat pocket.

I don't expect perfection and, individually, these are not major problems but, together, they suggest that Eva Air doesn't care about its passengers once they are on board. I'll be looking for alternatives the next time I make this journey.

Listening to news broadcasts and the opinions of expats. in Thailand, one might draw the conclusion that the UK is on its knees and may never recover. The published economy statistics tend to support this view, or, at least, the analyses of these have done that. More recently, some experts have taken a slightly more optimistic view.

I've just returned home after a couple of weeks in the Midlands and South of England and have found the picture on the ground, so to speak, mixed but different from what I expected. Around London, the streets, tube trains, tour buses and river boats were busy with tourists, despite cold, biting winds. A few retail businesses were closed down but I'm not sure that there were more than one might expect in normal circumstances. During a recession, luxury businesses tend to suffer more than, say, food shops, but the number of coffee shops and restaurants was surprisingly high and most were very busy. There was no sign of an economic downturn on the streets. A friend who lives in Surrey said that there was no recession there and, despite the closure of a few businesses in Dorking's antique shop street and a few other empty premises, I have to agree.

The picture in the Midlands is not quite so rosy but still there was nothing to suggest that the area was an economic wasteland. The roads were busy with cars dodging between the many speed cameras that must have cost the taxpayers a fortune to install. Shops were thriving. Only restaurants were quiet but that may have been due to the winter weather.

Derbyshire, a walkers' and tourists' mecca, was also quiet during weekdays and hotels had plenty of vacancies. Yet again, one might expect that during the winter. I did notice quite a few closed down businesses and the country clothing shops, rather excessive in number. were offering big discounts.

The most noticeable chnage was in Hitchin where the market has lost traders, quite a few shops have closed down and restaurants were short of customers. The coffee shops were thriving and numerous.

My general impression is that England is carrying on much as usual, at least at the retail end. I understand that the job market is poor but I still saw little evidence of this. Perhaps price inflation is outstripping wage inflation but people still had their mortgaged homes, cars and home comforts.

Anyone over there who feels that their world has collapsed should sample some of the permanent living conditions of country people in Thailand. They may just find that their view of the Western materialistic world experiences some adjustment.